Since I began attending the meetings, I’ve been practicing on my own. In bed, before falling asleep, during the day when I’m in the vegetable garden, when I have free time. I’ve learned that introspection is possible. It can be implemented, you only have to want to. Putting one’s thoughts in order brings peace of mind. The relaxation that my body experiences together with control of my mental faculties and the rhythmical breathing. All of this has become an integral part of my life here in prison. It’s excellent to de-clutter (the mind) of marginal things.
I’d like to note that many times when I was upset, depressed, conflicted, or agitated, I knew how to let go. I knew how to stop, relax, regulate my breathing, and inhale air and oxygen. I felt myself expanding. I banished every pestering thought. I concentrated on the here and now. I know how to emerge changed. Calm, tranquil, level-headed, reflective. Yes, I’m learning to love myself. I understand that to regret that I arrived at this particular state is the right thing. It’s a recognition of the negative things inside me. I asked myself for forgiveness because in fact, my body is not mine. I sent a vibration into my inner child, into myself. Saying ‘Thank you’ – this is an obligatory word. Like a signature stamp at the end of a process. It’s like declaring that I will go back to this process and use it over and over again. Because it can’t be taken for granted, so ‘Thank you’ is a small word of appreciation for what I have taken upon myself. To change. Indeed, it is happening.